After backspacing what I want to type here way too many times I have finally decided that I will just go with the flow and write it once and for all. It comes as a shock to me that writing must be so difficult. It almost feels like I don't know a part of me anymore. Rather, a part of me I once nurtured , a part of me who contributed to my very existence , not just another hobby that I needed to practice to become better at but a burning passion which I knew I was born to discover in myself...
With a hope to start a new beginning after an end that I am happy about here is my ode to that force which makes me, Me.
Weaving my insides , whether stormy or sunny / Painting a picture with words , abstract or formless / Giving a chance for this little being inside of me to come out and scream out to the world what it wanted to...
It was you...
Illuminating. My path first, with the power of showing me light in places that I thought were filled with darkness. Spreading the light , to other travelers , nomads , gypsies, seekers. . .
In a world where I embraced solitude and deemed it my only true companion, you silently held me and gave me company without me realizing it...
Every time I read a poem by another poet I almost could feel the rush that she / he might have been in while writing it, the ecstasy of finishing it and reading it a million times again to see if you have channelized the surge that was oozing out of you into those carriers you had to carefully choose from without letting synonyms feel bad but keeping the meaning intact...
You taught me that after I just trusted in you when I felt a high or a low , and gave in to you, I would find my answers to questions or questions to answers that I am not satisfied with...
Freeze. When moments lapse and memories are born, I know I could freeze it the way it was and make it my memoir that I know might catch dust, but will not be forgotten and can be searched for under piles of books, inside hidden diaries with cute locks that most times didn't serve purpose...
Fiction. You let me dive into fantasies that I could only think of in a utopian dream. Bring them to life, and convince the myself and anyone who read it, that it happened.
I know I have buried you deep inside me. I know you must ache to come out. I know you have tried. It is occasional now. You have become a hidden part of me that only I knew once existed...
So I write, to wake you up. To let you know that, I have missed you dearly and that without you i am completely incomplete. Without you I have faced the storms of my life with no shield because I did not reach out to you. Without you I have almost forgotten how happiness feels.
So take me back. Believe in me. Words of my soul, I hope you hear me.
I write, therefore I am.
