Just as once upon a time...

Just as once upon a time 

the eyes of marvel 

you used to see through 

the dark abysses,

when your age was a one digit 

illusion,

when they let you dance to your own tunes.

Just as once upon that time 

you consumed all that fire

in the hope that it would 

light your insides up,

but all it did was leave ashes

covering your soul in grey

but you let your eyes flow

and saw color for the first time in the rainbow your smile was.

Awaken those unpracticed powers 

and feed them belief 

-breakfast, lunch and dinner 

and watch them grow.

Erupting out the layers of doubt 

you are clad in

Love your contradictions 

as you see them

throw your self into her lap

swing as she cradles you 

side to side,

yes the universe wants to know 

herself through you.

~ Ray

Movement

As I sit on this aircraft flying back to Mumbai after my short work trip to Uganda sipping on some cola with water (learnt from a man in Kampala to mix water to regular coke to reduce the sweetness of it) it hits me that I have been constantly moving since the end of December. What could possibly be so constant about being on the move? Nothing I suppose. No wait! There is a pattern. I see it slowly emerge and make sense to me. There is something happening silently in the background as I pack, unpack, pack and then unpack again from the journey waiting for the next to start. I feel myself less attached to the things that bothered me. Something that brought tears to my eyes before I took off to Kampala from Mumbai , now seems like a fading impression on sand. As if all this movement just comes as wind blowing and changes how some things seem. First I don't believe it. I try wearing that emotion on like the dress I tried at the national theatre market this morning. I wear it on top of the clothes of emotion present in the here and now - for lack of a place to totally strip myself off and try it on my bare body. And I don't feel the intensity of it on me, I can see it but it doesn't touch me anymore.

I suddenly feel like I have just been hit by what has been taking place under my nose all this while. This is not new to just this trip to Kampala. I remember feeling different about so many things after a round of traveling and letting myself soak in a new city , it's people, culture, food, weather and language.

I also realize that I cannot confuse this sudden change in perspective to becoming indifferent. I think it is a natural process of getting clarity for what something really is. Something that movement and opening up oneself to the unknown brings.

As I slowly learn to travel light - something I never could few years ago- I see with every trip I leave behind what is not wanted - and my bag is only full of essentials- the absolute essentials I know I will need. I feel the baggage of my soul slowly getting lighter... until I feel so light I am ready to fly , again.

~ Ray