Today I will resist Temptation.
The Temptation to quote.
The Temptation to reproduce.
The Temptation to borrow.
Because today I will give you the stark naked truth of our lives that I have been meaning to let you into for a little lazy time now. . .
It is an epiphany... that struck me... Not as a bold lightning , not as an electric current passing through the existence of the helpless , not as the iron of a blacksmith will strike , not as a sword will at the hour of surrender....
This has struck me as an accumulation of droplets turned into an ocean over the years and finally washing my ignorance away with waves of truth. . .
My life - in retrospect has been a prolonged cold spell where warmth was a much coaxed visitor. I have come to realize that I was being unaware to what was behind the curtain, on the outside of the tall glass windows.
The awry room of my lifehouse seems more real and coming to life as I write this. I can hear voices. Voices that amplify and turn into sounds which neither feel good nor bad. This neutral state was a veil. A veil concealing Chaos. When I was present in the room , I was comfortable with it's arrangement. As I stepped out and got back, things seemed different .Chaos. As if it were a room of a doll house and the hand of the child had slowly inserted itself thru the ceiling and knocked everything down either in sheer ill temper or by the impulse of her mother's repeated shouting of her name signalling to retire to bed and call it a night.
I continued . Continued to let this chaos remain , to such an extent that I no longer thought it odd.
Comfortably numb.
As seasons came and went by and revisted , occasionally I would hear knocks on the window. Oh! Before you wonder why not the door.... there was no door.
I never felt the need for one....so , the window...soon the attempts from the other side to reach me , faded away as a voice of chaos in the background. . .
There I was .
What seemed like just another day turned out to be different.
A strong feeling came upon me . Without any effort I was drawn toward the window. I was led and was being taken, was finally shown. . .
The memory of this journey is what has dawned on me today.
The journey from my bed to the wondow . The window that opened into . . .
I was changing .
The restlessness, thirst and hunger that had been with me all my life, that had unmistably danced through my being........My rage of protest (against what and who?) was crumbling.....
What happened next , was You .
Written in the book named " Memoirs " by Lakshmi Raman
A dedication to her , for being my Angel in Silence
Love you Laku.
The Temptation to quote.
The Temptation to reproduce.
The Temptation to borrow.
Because today I will give you the stark naked truth of our lives that I have been meaning to let you into for a little lazy time now. . .
It is an epiphany... that struck me... Not as a bold lightning , not as an electric current passing through the existence of the helpless , not as the iron of a blacksmith will strike , not as a sword will at the hour of surrender....
This has struck me as an accumulation of droplets turned into an ocean over the years and finally washing my ignorance away with waves of truth. . .
My life - in retrospect has been a prolonged cold spell where warmth was a much coaxed visitor. I have come to realize that I was being unaware to what was behind the curtain, on the outside of the tall glass windows.
The awry room of my lifehouse seems more real and coming to life as I write this. I can hear voices. Voices that amplify and turn into sounds which neither feel good nor bad. This neutral state was a veil. A veil concealing Chaos. When I was present in the room , I was comfortable with it's arrangement. As I stepped out and got back, things seemed different .Chaos. As if it were a room of a doll house and the hand of the child had slowly inserted itself thru the ceiling and knocked everything down either in sheer ill temper or by the impulse of her mother's repeated shouting of her name signalling to retire to bed and call it a night.
I continued . Continued to let this chaos remain , to such an extent that I no longer thought it odd.
Comfortably numb.
As seasons came and went by and revisted , occasionally I would hear knocks on the window. Oh! Before you wonder why not the door.... there was no door.
I never felt the need for one....so , the window...soon the attempts from the other side to reach me , faded away as a voice of chaos in the background. . .
There I was .
What seemed like just another day turned out to be different.
A strong feeling came upon me . Without any effort I was drawn toward the window. I was led and was being taken, was finally shown. . .
The memory of this journey is what has dawned on me today.
The journey from my bed to the wondow . The window that opened into . . .
I was changing .
The restlessness, thirst and hunger that had been with me all my life, that had unmistably danced through my being........My rage of protest (against what and who?) was crumbling.....
What happened next , was You .
Written in the book named " Memoirs " by Lakshmi Raman
A dedication to her , for being my Angel in Silence
Love you Laku.
your words get deeper and intense by every new piece your heart intents...a new life your soul invents! your inner storm is your unspoken guide ...peace and color ray!
ReplyDeleteMy dear Rachana, Pranam. Haill Mother. Jai Sri Krishna..........I had posted a commentm but it is not appearing here.And I cant get the same spontaneous words again!!....Anyway, I had said that eyes are the windows of the soul, and the Absolute Truth sends waves of Truth down through the eyes into the heart, where it percolates in droplets, and finally reaches the soul which awakens to its own truth. And ultimately merges back into the Absolute Truth of which it is only an infinitesimal fraction.
ReplyDeleteMay life be the university through which you reach unto your final goal. Lots of love and hugs,.............Thaatha
My dear Rachana, Pranam. Hail Mother.....Hahahaha
ReplyDeleteThis is my third attempt at posting my comment!!
I had said that the eyes are the windows of the soul, and sends down waves of Absolute Truth through them into the heart through which it percolates onto the soul, which then awakens to its own truth, since it is only an infinitesimal fraction of the Absolute Truth.And finally passing through the University of life, it merges back into it final goal.......Lots of love and hugs....Thaatha
I love u <3 <3 These words are so intense and deep . I am speechless .
ReplyDeletei wish everyone had a laku to fall back too when there moving in to the extreme of cutting off..
ReplyDeletebrilliant rach
im still lingering in the state of nt being able 2 even see the window
so when i do .. i hope i the outcome is as positive as urs has been