Trembling. These hands are shaky but they haven't succumbed to the fear. The memories of actions are carved on these rough, queer hands. Lines only darken with time.
Shivering. The breath is heavy and inconsistent. Bouts , gaps of oxygen and smoke being inhaled.
Scattered. The mind gallops away like a horse that has lost its direction swallowed by a rage it cannot fathom.
This Being, is afraid of her own reflection in the mirror. 'Stop! Stop bringing it any closer' she screams out loud but an invisible hand drags the mirror closer. All these years have been gone in misconceptions that she is in control. The mirage of her Being being in control has disappeared.
She cannot write anymore. Something that was easier than breathing and the reason for her survival is witnessing a downfall.
Pain - seen it , felt it, smelt it, dealt it. She cries like a baby, flies as a bird , she gets shot down. Who is this enemy ?
What is real? Nothing is. Nothing was. Nothing will be. Glimpses of broken promises, guilty pleasures , lack of restraint, inability to make a choice in her own favor ~ these glimpses ~ do not leave. They hide in the sun, they lurk in the dark. Come prowling. Come howling. Come growling. Come mocking. Come uninvited. They know they are part of her. They know how indispensable they are to her. They know they complete her.
Hypocrisy. Contradictions. Everywhere. Everyone.
Everyone comes easy enough through the cracks in the wall when they feel drawn to her Being. Oh they leave just as easily when they start to see the shadows of pain all around her. How hard she has tried to hide them, conceal them, pretend they didnt exist. How hard she has tried to befriend them.
The body is deceiving. Its physical form is a trap. None of them could look beyond it. Beyond it her being lies, waiting. Awaiting a change. Deteriorating , Crumbling , her insides scream out for them to stop. They all seem alien to her. They all are there for all the wrong reasons in all the right seasons.
Walking. These legs dont know where to go. For a while she thought she was asleep. Lying inert inside a dream. A chilly breath wakes her up, shakes her up. Drags her to the mirror again. She resists, she cannot open her eyes. The breath gets inside her, crushes her lungs, chokes her. She tries to silence the fear within in. Crimson now, her eyes open. The bloody tears they fall and she sees. Herself.
Awaken. Giving herself up to her reflection.
Shivering. The breath is heavy and inconsistent. Bouts , gaps of oxygen and smoke being inhaled.
Scattered. The mind gallops away like a horse that has lost its direction swallowed by a rage it cannot fathom.
This Being, is afraid of her own reflection in the mirror. 'Stop! Stop bringing it any closer' she screams out loud but an invisible hand drags the mirror closer. All these years have been gone in misconceptions that she is in control. The mirage of her Being being in control has disappeared.
She cannot write anymore. Something that was easier than breathing and the reason for her survival is witnessing a downfall.
Pain - seen it , felt it, smelt it, dealt it. She cries like a baby, flies as a bird , she gets shot down. Who is this enemy ?
What is real? Nothing is. Nothing was. Nothing will be. Glimpses of broken promises, guilty pleasures , lack of restraint, inability to make a choice in her own favor ~ these glimpses ~ do not leave. They hide in the sun, they lurk in the dark. Come prowling. Come howling. Come growling. Come mocking. Come uninvited. They know they are part of her. They know how indispensable they are to her. They know they complete her.
Hypocrisy. Contradictions. Everywhere. Everyone.
Everyone comes easy enough through the cracks in the wall when they feel drawn to her Being. Oh they leave just as easily when they start to see the shadows of pain all around her. How hard she has tried to hide them, conceal them, pretend they didnt exist. How hard she has tried to befriend them.
The body is deceiving. Its physical form is a trap. None of them could look beyond it. Beyond it her being lies, waiting. Awaiting a change. Deteriorating , Crumbling , her insides scream out for them to stop. They all seem alien to her. They all are there for all the wrong reasons in all the right seasons.
Walking. These legs dont know where to go. For a while she thought she was asleep. Lying inert inside a dream. A chilly breath wakes her up, shakes her up. Drags her to the mirror again. She resists, she cannot open her eyes. The breath gets inside her, crushes her lungs, chokes her. She tries to silence the fear within in. Crimson now, her eyes open. The bloody tears they fall and she sees. Herself.
Awaken. Giving herself up to her reflection.
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