Thursday, March 7, 2013

This is to Us...


this is to the beauty in our eyes - 
that many fear and many despise

this is to the mothers we love 
and sometimes hate

this is to us who forget
that it only a mother who has called upon pain
and embraced it as a pleasure
to get us into existence?

this is to the milk that flows through us
over valleys of love and into oceans ever receiving

this is to the many different thighs -
they all have a different tale to tell

this is to the solitude we always yearn for 
but the world needs a reason to approve for

this is to the demons we give birth to
and the angels that consume us

this is to the metaphors we are born into
and to the verbs we are limited to

this is to the locks we break
and the keys we never find

this is to the moulds we think we have to fit into
but know not that we can melt away,
we don't always to stay frozen.

this is to the fires we are made to walk in
but know not that we can vaporize away,
we don't always need to burn.

this is to all of us 
who don't yet know that an entire universe lies 
between these thighs
inside our eyes
flowing through the curls
gliding through the straight lines

this is to all of us
who haven't looked into another eyes 
and seen ourselves

this is to all of us
who have stopped being mirrors
because we are too tired being closed doors

this is to the blood we have shed
and raised children from

this is to ending the 'trying to be'
and beginning the just 'being'

this is
to 
us.


Monday, March 4, 2013

You are here.


And as you smiled me in the soul
Peeking and gushing through
The veils of pain I clad myself in
Rummaging through the ruins
Of my loveyard
You find me squirming in a corner
Your touch made me tremble
As a baby would when she arrives
Into the universe of today
Painted with pieces of the umbilical
And adorned with virgin blood...
You arrive,
I smile,
I breathe,
You are here.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

You.

I miss your fingers
Tracing love on my skin
Looking for the moon
In my eyes
You sink
Deep
Into my ocean
Of
Chaos 


Friday, January 25, 2013

Shakti.


 and all these years you believed,
that he looked away because he couldn't stand
who you were and who you were becoming

and all those times you believed
he looked away because he despised
the smell of your skin which smelt of those who touched you
mind , body and soul

and all those times you believed
he walked away because he did not want
you in your essence and my element
you in your colors and and your palette

little did you know dear one
that he
could not fathom
could not muster
enough courage
to handle your radiance

You are as the sun
mighty and solitary

You are as the moon
giving hope to seekers
giving light to wanderers
you are
shakti /

Friday, April 20, 2012

Statue of Ashes

I am a statue of the ashes you've
burnt me into
Bit by bit I've let you rip myself apart
And now you're gone.
Gone into a wilderness that has no
room for a Mirror.

This statue
Grey and tall
Will be blown away by not just the
wind
But by the fury of your mind.

But a statue is what I am
And what I will remain
Immobile
And looking you in the eye.

Oh well, I may just blink and bring
myself down...

Tell your mind so frail in my love not
to worry,
I will not blow myself in your direction.
Or let my ashes touch you.

Do you recognize these ashes?
Nothing you already haven't felt the
pulse of
You already know
every corner of my soul
And your senses have felt them the way nothing else has.

And now in this cradle of feeble
Minds
And now in this labyrinth of lost souls
We have Lost.

Lost what was born effortlessly
Waiting to be
in
Our
Utopia.

Written on 19th april

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

hoping on a Phoenix...

Since
the 9th year of 2000

Since
the beginning of the end

Nothing
has churned up such a storm

Nothing
has ever taken his form

Eyes of Fire
in a Soul of Water

Burning
her up.

It is anything but easy for her to describe the feeling of his voice. As they met in a place no one else belonged. As they were drinking in the stars hanging off the cliff and talking about pain. As she sang him her song , and he gently kissed her on her cheeks. On the same cheeks she had been slapped for expressing unconditional love. His smile made hiding from the world worth it.

After that night, everything seems like a rush. A rush of running, of breathing, of holding, of not knowing but still believing, of not feeling but still giving.

He touched her in places she never knew she still possessed.

His ever changing presence, ever moving soul made of the element which let everything touch it and make it as it pleased, seemed calm some days and stormy on other days. But she knew, that when they just Were, there was a tranquility nothing could surpass.

She never wanted to take the place of the one who belonged to his Being.

She knew she never could.

The world in which they met is shutting itself now.

It will not thrive if only she wants it to.

He needs it to want it to.

She cannot stand him in pain and she would do anything to ease it.

He doesn't recognize her anymore.

He has trampled on the little world they had once built under the stars.

Why doesn't he see how that world will exist in their eyes always?

Why doesn't he see that her arms are always wide open for him?

Why does he doubt her sanctity after how much she has let him crush her fears?

She was always looking at him through a glass, and he sometimes did look back at her.

Crash. Burn.

She is sitting in the ashes waiting. Writing a letter wish them. Playing with them. Trying to find him.

Hoping their love, like the Phoenix will come alive.

Hoping he believes her.

Hoping she loses her fear in him.

Until then she dreams.
Dreams of the starry night
The kiss
and the Sukoon in his arms...





Sunday, March 18, 2012

4:05 am

4:05 am , in bed
uneasily shifting
myself.
Eyes, cringing
Lips, biting
Hands, clasping
Breath, gasping.
Loud voices in my head talk :
Solitude does strange things-
not the one where you are cut off
from the world
the one, where you stand alone
even in a crowd.
The heat is ever soaring
ever unceasing
until it reaches its climax
and im numb.
These creatures ,
at the back of my throat
use spears and poke and pierce
as if they were waiting for the Voice
to somehow let itself out.
Coughing like a dying soul
I grab the bottle in the dark
opening it, it spills on to me
my eyes, the hair on my shoulder and yes it couldn't escape my neck.
Eyes, that were shut so tight
Lips , that were clenched in fright
Hands, numb last night
and Breath awoke, with a continued fight.

There is this divine trilogy staring at me
My solitude
My soul
And I.
I stand in the middle,
feeling like I belong to neither sides.
I stand
And now I shall
Sit.