/ The bearable darkness of Being /

I have seen much more, felt much more, been much more, in the sheer darkness which follows destruction. 
I have been born again and shed worn out wings in the darkness.
I have learnt to make love to questions in the darkness. 
I have held hands with pain in the darkness. 
I have looked fear in the eye in the darkness. 
I have circled around as a dervish and felt the power of union in the darkness.
I have drank blood (thinking it was water) in the darkness.
I have seen no mirrors in the darkness which has made me comfortable in my skin, in the darkness.
I am lost in the darkness.
I am found in the darkness.
I am everything in the darkness.
~ Ray

Written on 25th of August, Dubai.

Smoking Blues

I wish you knew

every breath of that white soldier you take

who stands by your hands 

waiting to carry you closer to his nation

and further away from you

I wish you knew

what Id do to be in his place

Gently being held by your fingers

Fiercely lighting me up, igniting.

Placing me at the perfect pout of your mouth

Sucking the life out of me

With your breath you turn me

into another form

Bit by bit,

you let me go

Bit by bit,

you let me flow...

~ Ray

Now he knows

Their nest

is his mad eyes

her unruly hair

Her strands of solace

feed into

his parched eyes

Bit by bit

they exchange

killing and creating

Fears of yesterday

cringe and give up

Death.

Wonders of tomorrow

erupt out of this unison

Creation.

Everything coming

in the way is crushed

Wine.

Little toes

tip-toe into each other

Dance.

Blind tongues run

after walls to find light

Explore.

Her thighs

on his lap 

Home.

His arms

around her

Home.

He leaves

wondering

what she would write of?

Now

he

Knows.

To Hyderabad

It's hard enough when you fall in love with souls that come and leave, it's harder when you love a city with a fervor you never knew you held under your breath waiting to burst into screams for its soul to show up so you can have one look into those eyes... But she won't come, she doesn't need to. You've been in her all along.

 I've blossomed in the lap of that city, amidst it's green hills and yellow suns, run in between summer, rain and winter.That city embraced me and became a mother. Now as I soon return, I may drift away... Cutting me off the divine umbilical chords with pain but always leaving a mark on my belly.. I will return because in you I have at last found home .

Silence

Does this silence, here and now take you to where we used to live ? 

Away from the world and the pain of being an organism with a heart left unused? 

Away from technology and the crutches of its dependence?

Away from the agreement for peace and into the 

Only way of love ?

Does the silence after the explosions of this storm 

take you anywhere ? 

To my Moonflower

And I will miss waking up and finding myself tangled in your curls for a change, been swimming in mine for far too long 

and then slipping into cotton fields where you are the white

And I the brown soil

The world asks in silent stares what is between us?

My smile tells them 

There is no room for anything in between 

There is only Us.

As I set out to fly away

You must know...

Ever fragrant when the moon shines, 

You are the moonflower

In our garden of love

Cause of chaos

You've successfully created a circle of chaos

and you are standing on the periphery

adding fuel to its viciousness

blowing secret ingredients into its momentum

you are there yet you are not colored

colored by the words flying around

the blackest blacks and the whitest whites

you still stand on the edge 

occasionally placing your pinky

in the movement

the creatures of your making

cringe

scream

laugh

judge

howl

cry

you still stand outside

with a sense of accomplishment

but you still can't tell

the noises from one another

you will never be able to

because you are still outside,

still the other

maybe a father,

but not the mother.