Letting go, going, gone.

Its been some time since I sat myself down and talked to myself. Its been some time since I sat in a room alone and heard my own heart beat, felt  my pulses throb, let the emotions gush and over flow like waves on me. Engulf me , toss me around a bit, froth on my senses until I felt like I was drowning. Test my ability to save myself from me. Let me suddenly find myself thrown on the shores of knowing not knowing I was there. Baking in the sun , getting the Vitamin D( D for Destruction) into the body of awareness. Burning my flesh into a million little pieces, till all that is left is a bare naked truth. Stripped off of all knowing. The remains, the ashes from the chaos, are seeds. Seeds of creation. From my own destruction, waited to sprout. Sprout into something new. So is this letting go?

Its also been some time since I wanted nothing. Nothing from this world, 

Scatter

The heart beats

Beats faster than my thoughts

These thoughts are crimson

Crimson red

Red as her lips

Lips that kiss tired eyes

Eyes that have seen truth

Truth ripped apart and bare

Bare as that which trembles 

Trembles in the womb

The womb is a tomb

A tomb of dreams put to sleep

Sleeping with legs wide open

Open up and bloom

Bloom even in the cold winds

Winds of change

Change the heart beat

Beat is slower than now

Now is where we are

Are we really here?

/ The bearable darkness of Being /

I have seen much more, felt much more, been much more, in the sheer darkness which follows destruction. 
I have been born again and shed worn out wings in the darkness.
I have learnt to make love to questions in the darkness. 
I have held hands with pain in the darkness. 
I have looked fear in the eye in the darkness. 
I have circled around as a dervish and felt the power of union in the darkness.
I have drank blood (thinking it was water) in the darkness.
I have seen no mirrors in the darkness which has made me comfortable in my skin, in the darkness.
I am lost in the darkness.
I am found in the darkness.
I am everything in the darkness.
~ Ray

Written on 25th of August, Dubai.

Smoking Blues

I wish you knew

every breath of that white soldier you take

who stands by your hands 

waiting to carry you closer to his nation

and further away from you

I wish you knew

what Id do to be in his place

Gently being held by your fingers

Fiercely lighting me up, igniting.

Placing me at the perfect pout of your mouth

Sucking the life out of me

With your breath you turn me

into another form

Bit by bit,

you let me go

Bit by bit,

you let me flow...

~ Ray

Now he knows

Their nest

is his mad eyes

her unruly hair

Her strands of solace

feed into

his parched eyes

Bit by bit

they exchange

killing and creating

Fears of yesterday

cringe and give up

Death.

Wonders of tomorrow

erupt out of this unison

Creation.

Everything coming

in the way is crushed

Wine.

Little toes

tip-toe into each other

Dance.

Blind tongues run

after walls to find light

Explore.

Her thighs

on his lap 

Home.

His arms

around her

Home.

He leaves

wondering

what she would write of?

Now

he

Knows.

To Hyderabad

It's hard enough when you fall in love with souls that come and leave, it's harder when you love a city with a fervor you never knew you held under your breath waiting to burst into screams for its soul to show up so you can have one look into those eyes... But she won't come, she doesn't need to. You've been in her all along.

 I've blossomed in the lap of that city, amidst it's green hills and yellow suns, run in between summer, rain and winter.That city embraced me and became a mother. Now as I soon return, I may drift away... Cutting me off the divine umbilical chords with pain but always leaving a mark on my belly.. I will return because in you I have at last found home .

Silence

Does this silence, here and now take you to where we used to live ? 

Away from the world and the pain of being an organism with a heart left unused? 

Away from technology and the crutches of its dependence?

Away from the agreement for peace and into the 

Only way of love ?

Does the silence after the explosions of this storm 

take you anywhere ?